Of all the people around me, the one I care about the most has always been my mum. The bonding between my mum and I is unusually tight despite me being away from home since I was 13. Well maybe you can say that I am just another gay guy who has such intimate relationship with the mum.
So the other day, being not able to withstand the whole lot of pressure from relationship, exams, and also life, I rang up my mum to seek comfort through her voice (she has always been able to comfort me even with only her voice).
"So, are you troubled by love?" mum asked, smart as usual she always knows my problem without having me to confide to her.
"kinda. I am in love with somebody older than me" I told her without mentioning that the one i am in love is actually a guy.
"well, it's always hard to work out especially when you are still a student" she said, assuming that the being together with a student is seemingly a burden to a girl.
So we went on and on arguing about this and all of a sudden I couldn't hold back anymore and the word "it's a he" slipped out of my mouth. Both being shocked by what I had just said, silence ensued for the next 5 seconds.
"yeh" I said, trying to break the ice.
"harr???? I have been worried you might one day bring this issue up" She said, sounded calm and alright.
"So you knew? what made you suspect?" I then asked after knowing this was after all not as shocking as I expected it to be.
"yeh every mum knows everything about her son!" She then said.
She went on asking lots of questions and consistently but not forcefully telling me that she is not supportive of me being gay.
"Do you have some physical problem?" She then asked.
"what do you mean by that? as in sexual wise?" I then asked, feeling a bit awkward saying this to her.
"yeh" she replied sounded like she expected something explicit from me.
"no i don't. I just couldn't get it up even tho a girl is standing naked in front of me." I then said.
"well, thats the problem! you can cure this" she interrupted before I could finish my sentence.
"but I have no problem getting it up when I see a guy naked before my eyes." I then said, being a bit straightforward.
"ohhhhhhhhhh.......but still i hope you can change and be with a girl eventually. you wouldnt wanna disappoint everyone else in the family" she then further ascertained me choosing the gay future is bad.
"well, you asking me to be with a girl is just like me asking you to be with a girl. how would feel about that?" I then said.
"hmmmmm. well we will talk about this later when you come back. but don't worry, I still love you no matter what you are." She then said, and that kinda made me think that she would accept everything eventually, it's just a matter of time.
I am still struck by a line she said to me "I would rather see you alone than to see you with another guy".
Well I would say her reaction was quite positive, at least she is not living in denial. Looks like the purpose of my trip back home this time to convince her to be on my side in walking down the gay path. :)
So the other day, being not able to withstand the whole lot of pressure from relationship, exams, and also life, I rang up my mum to seek comfort through her voice (she has always been able to comfort me even with only her voice).
"So, are you troubled by love?" mum asked, smart as usual she always knows my problem without having me to confide to her.
"kinda. I am in love with somebody older than me" I told her without mentioning that the one i am in love is actually a guy.
"well, it's always hard to work out especially when you are still a student" she said, assuming that the being together with a student is seemingly a burden to a girl.
So we went on and on arguing about this and all of a sudden I couldn't hold back anymore and the word "it's a he" slipped out of my mouth. Both being shocked by what I had just said, silence ensued for the next 5 seconds.
"yeh" I said, trying to break the ice.
"harr???? I have been worried you might one day bring this issue up" She said, sounded calm and alright.
"So you knew? what made you suspect?" I then asked after knowing this was after all not as shocking as I expected it to be.
"yeh every mum knows everything about her son!" She then said.
She went on asking lots of questions and consistently but not forcefully telling me that she is not supportive of me being gay.
"Do you have some physical problem?" She then asked.
"what do you mean by that? as in sexual wise?" I then asked, feeling a bit awkward saying this to her.
"yeh" she replied sounded like she expected something explicit from me.
"no i don't. I just couldn't get it up even tho a girl is standing naked in front of me." I then said.
"well, thats the problem! you can cure this" she interrupted before I could finish my sentence.
"but I have no problem getting it up when I see a guy naked before my eyes." I then said, being a bit straightforward.
"ohhhhhhhhhh.......but still i hope you can change and be with a girl eventually. you wouldnt wanna disappoint everyone else in the family" she then further ascertained me choosing the gay future is bad.
"well, you asking me to be with a girl is just like me asking you to be with a girl. how would feel about that?" I then said.
"hmmmmm. well we will talk about this later when you come back. but don't worry, I still love you no matter what you are." She then said, and that kinda made me think that she would accept everything eventually, it's just a matter of time.
I am still struck by a line she said to me "I would rather see you alone than to see you with another guy".
Well I would say her reaction was quite positive, at least she is not living in denial. Looks like the purpose of my trip back home this time to convince her to be on my side in walking down the gay path. :)
6 comments:
*hugs
Well first step is done. Now it's time for some serious one on one with your mom about this.
all the best! ;)
i agree at least she's quite receptive. hope it turns up well :)
"Way a go Mum!!"... Mothers do know. Same case here. My mum treats the Bf like part of the family now, takes time of course. Your mum did sound rather calm about the situation I must admit and admire, I had to tell my mum that I just needed her to love me as her son, if she doesn't accept me for being like this. Of course there were the tears and the shouts and the lectures. I had to face mine face to face with my elder sister as well. But now, things are all fine.
As I said before,
Time and Tide waits for no man,
yet as it passes, it teaches and it heals as well. Don't worry about the situation, be proud of who you are. And we're all here to support each other.
hold ur grip honey. muacks..
It's encouraging that your mum did not freak. :)
My mum said something similar, "I'd rather you be a priest than be with a guy".
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