Ever since my first relationship with an English guy two years back, I haven't really stayed single in a while. To be honest, I don't see any difference between my single life and life when I am attached. Having a boyfriend basically means you have someone special to share all your happiness and unhappiness with which can be compensated easily by sharing it with your best friends or even your family members if you are out to them. Having a bf means you have to someone or something to commit to that your life is so organized and orientated you won't feel lost anymore.
Don't get me wrong, I mean it's good to have someone to do things together with which the feelings are never the same when it's done with someone less special like your best friends. What I am trying to point out here is, we can still live our lives happily even without having that someone special. We still go for dinners and movies. We still do exciting things and we still have sex, just in a different way.
I was having a conversation with my friends over lunch one evening.
"I am gonna stay single for a while from now on. Relationships have consumed too much of me and I think I need to get myself back." I said, with a firm voice as well as determination.
"Sure sure~~~~~~~" N, J and D responded simultaneously without taking my words seriously.
"hey c'mon, I am serious here! I am really gonna stay single this time, can't you guys be more encouraging?" I then said.
"Yeh right, I think I could recall you saying that just a few months back! It's very convincing dude!" N said, sarcastic as always.
"Oh well that's before I think single life suits me better! I think to love someone is such a tiring job both mentally and physically. Of course having someone to pour your excessive love on is such a great thing but come to think of it, I think I can do better without." I then said, trying to show my determination.
"Haha. well we shall just see! you will get another one in no time. at least that's what its been like for the past two years! " D said, still being suspicious.
Well, I think I am really the one to blame. Having not stayed single for 2 years really isn't that convincing when I told them I wanted to stay single for a while.
It really got me thinking- Do i really mean it when I say I want to stay single? Or is it just a line I routinely use after each breakup?
Is it cynical to even have the idea of staying single? That you wouldn't wanna get into another relationship because you think relationships always bring heartbreaks.
Don't get me wrong, I mean it's good to have someone to do things together with which the feelings are never the same when it's done with someone less special like your best friends. What I am trying to point out here is, we can still live our lives happily even without having that someone special. We still go for dinners and movies. We still do exciting things and we still have sex, just in a different way.
I was having a conversation with my friends over lunch one evening.
"I am gonna stay single for a while from now on. Relationships have consumed too much of me and I think I need to get myself back." I said, with a firm voice as well as determination.
"Sure sure~~~~~~~" N, J and D responded simultaneously without taking my words seriously.
"hey c'mon, I am serious here! I am really gonna stay single this time, can't you guys be more encouraging?" I then said.
"Yeh right, I think I could recall you saying that just a few months back! It's very convincing dude!" N said, sarcastic as always.
"Oh well that's before I think single life suits me better! I think to love someone is such a tiring job both mentally and physically. Of course having someone to pour your excessive love on is such a great thing but come to think of it, I think I can do better without." I then said, trying to show my determination.
"Haha. well we shall just see! you will get another one in no time. at least that's what its been like for the past two years! " D said, still being suspicious.
Well, I think I am really the one to blame. Having not stayed single for 2 years really isn't that convincing when I told them I wanted to stay single for a while.
It really got me thinking- Do i really mean it when I say I want to stay single? Or is it just a line I routinely use after each breakup?
Is it cynical to even have the idea of staying single? That you wouldn't wanna get into another relationship because you think relationships always bring heartbreaks.
6 comments:
Come what may? :)
love works in weird ways... i used to say the same thing i guess :)
Yea, me too, stupidly stupid said those, just to cover my pathetic thoughts.... No offense, that is me...
You most likely sincerely meant it when you say you want to stay single...at that very moment :-) But hey, if in future, that stands in the way for better life/greater happiness etc, it's better not to hang on to it, don't you think?
Just fnished reading all of your blog entries. I think whether to stay single or not, it is non-issue, as long as you are happy with your life in the gay city of sydney.
What i am more keen of learning is that 'coming-out to your mum'. Anyway i know i will face the same matter one day, just sooner or later.
I am malaysian, in sydney as well. :)
Cheers,
CY
long time no hear from u. HOW R U?
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